


Daffodil

by notaguitarfret



Series: "They're all girlfriends" AU [26]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asexuality, F/F, Intersex Character, Non-Explicit Sex, Romantic Fluff, Safewords, soft lesbians ??? soft lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22800637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaguitarfret/pseuds/notaguitarfret
Summary: Heather Duke has some complicated feelings about sex that she needs to get off her chest.
Relationships: Heather Duke/Heather McNamara
Series: "They're all girlfriends" AU [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1053590
Comments: 14
Kudos: 174





	Daffodil

“And  _ then _ we were like,  _ no, we’ve raised our standards _ ,” Emmy continued. “And with that, we walked out the door. I mean, sure, we had to walk home, but it wasn’t too bad. We got to go on a nice stroll together, even if it was pretty cold.”

Occasionally Heather would nod or hum to show that she was listening to her recap the awful date from the other day in great detail, though in reality, her mind was elsewhere. She’d insisted coming over to see Emmy - alone - for one reason. As worded by Veronica earlier today,

_ “She’s your girlfriend. If you’re worried about something in your relationship, then you should talk to her about it.” _

She could have rolled her eyes at her insistence, but deep down, she knew she was right. Try all she might to find the answers on her own, if she were going to figure out her sexuality, figuring it out with the person she was dating was the best way to do it.

_ But even if this talk went well… _ She worriedly bit her lip as she looked further down herself.  _ What about that  _ other _ thing? _ Her head hit the headboard behind her, and she let out a groan, a little louder than she intended. It unfortunately caught Emmy’s attention, and she winced.  _ Give me five more minutes until I bring it up. _

“Is everything okay?” she asked. Heather sighed, debating replying ‘yes’ and ending it there. But that would mean putting it off even longer, and giving her one more thing to stress about, and with school, eating disorder recovery and therapy, she really didn’t need it. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to push out an honest reply.

“I’m fine, I just have a lot on my mind.”

Emmy turned towards her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Heather bit her lip, unable to maintain eye contact with her.

“Not really, but I should,” she grumbled, pressing her thighs together. Glancing at Heather, she saw she had her full attention. She sighed.

“I need to ask you something,” she began, sitting up. “And I need you to reply honestly.”

Emmy blinked. “Okay, sure.” She smiled. “What is it?”

Heather dug her fingers into her thighs, trying desperately to hide her agitation.

“Do you… do you know what a transgender person is?” Her voice was a squeak. She could have crumbled from the embarrassment.

Time seemed to slow down when she awaited for an answer. Just a simple, one word answer. She stared at Emmy, searching for any emotion, any at all, but found nothing. Then,

“Yes.”

She widened her eyes. She hadn’t expected her to say that.

“Yes?” she echoed. “You have?”

“I’ve… been reading up about LGBT things lately,” she admitted, swirling some hair around her finger. “There are a load of magazines under my bed.”

“Oh.” Heather nodded. “Um… what are your thoughts on them?”

“The magazines?”

“No, trans people.”

“Oh.” She shrugged. “What… what kind of thoughts?”

“As in… do you agree with them?” Worded awkwardly, but at least it was kept ambiguous as to why she was asking.

Heather blinked at her, a little dumbfounded.

“Well… yeah? They’re allowed to do what they want with their identities. I don’t see why people are so mean about it.”

A huge wave of relief flooded through Heather, and she let out a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding in. It came out as a sharp exhale. Heather gave her a puzzled look.

“Why do you ask?”

She was about to open her mouth and explain, but then another question came to mind.

“Would you date one?”

“Huh?”

Heather stared at her. “If you liked a girl, and started to date them, only to realise she was transgender, would you still want to date her?”

Emmy looked a little startled by the questions being thrown at her.

“Uh… I think so? I don’t see why not.” She tilted her head. “But why?”

Heather opened her mouth, but in gazing back at her girlfriend, her confidence faltered, even with the reassurance she had been given. She lowered her head and stared at her hands, clenched into tight fists.

“I just needed to know,” she murmured. “I didn’t want you to stop dating me because of it.”

A pause.

“ _ Huh? _ ”

Heather yelped, feeling herself being thrown backwards. She looked up and saw Emmy, staring down at her in amazement.

“You’re trans?” she gasped. “That’s incredible! I had no idea!”

She rolled her eyes as an elated smile formed on her lips. “That’s kind of the whole point.”

“Oh, right.” She laughed, beaming down at her. All of Heather’s worries seemed to leave her, at least about this issue. “Does anyone else know?”

“Veronica,” she said, “and Martha, and Betty. And JD, I suppose.”

“Martha, Betty and JD?” She looked surprised. “You told them?”

“It’s more of, they knew me before I transitioned,” she explained. “Apart from JD. I told him the other night. Y’know, when we were all doing tattoo crimes.”

“Oh, that makes sense!” Emmy shuffled off of her, and Heather sat up again. “Well, I’m glad you felt safe enough to tell me.”

“Me too,” she murmured, before being met with a firm hug. While it was reassuring, and lifted one heavy weight off of her chest, there was still another that she needed to address. She rested her chin on Emmy’s shoulder.

“I thought I’d give you a heads up,” she said. “Just because… you know.”

“Oh, yeah.” Emmy broke off the hug. “Not to worry! I’ve handled them befo-”

“Oh, wait, no, I don’t have a dick,” she quickly explained. “I was assigned male at birth, but I’m actually intersex.”

“You’re into sex? Who isn’t?”

Heather buried her head in her hands.

_ Awful, awful pun, _ she thought.  _ As well as incredibly ironic. _

“No, Heather.  _ Inter _ sex. I-N-T-E-R.”

“Oh. I was confused,” she said. “Technically, I still am. What’s intersex?”

Heather let out a sigh.  _ Here we go again. _

She went onto explain being intersex - this time in more detail than she had with Betty or JD. She explained how she had been assigned male at birth, as her parents literally had to ‘guess’ what she would identify as, and how they were soon enough proven to have made the wrong choice.

“I’m pretty sure they only assigned me as a boy because they wanted one,” she muttered. “And when I started saying I wanted to be a girl, they were disappointed.”

“What makes you say that?”

Heather huffed bitterly. “Looking back, it was then that their behaviour towards me changed. I was the one who suddenly had to clean, I took the blame for everything that went wrong around the house, and I was always the last one who was able to make a decision. Oh, what’s that? Hayden wants to watch that film and you don’t? We’re watching the one Hayden wants. What’s that? Hayden picked the last film, and Hunter the one before that? That’s a shame.”

Emmy offered a sympathetic look. “That sounds awful.” She caressed her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever. I know the sentiment of ‘they don’t love me as much as they did before I turned seven’ sounds horrible - and it is - but after years of putting up with it, you start to not care.” Her mind wandered for maybe five whole seconds, before she shook the thought away. “Whatever, I didn’t mean for this to be a rant about my parents. We both already know they’re shit. There you go, there’s me being intersex explained.”

Emmy nodded. “I understand it now, thank you.” Then her eyes lit up in realisation. “Oh! Is that why you don’t get periods?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, that makes sense!” She then paused. “If you don’t mind me asking, though, why are you telling me about this now? Is there a reason, or did you just want to get it off your chest.”

Heather bit her lip.

“I… I did want to get it off my chest,” she murmured. “But there is a reason why I’m telling you about it now.”

“What is it?”

She lowered her head, staring at her hands.

“I…”  _ Spit it out, Heather! _

She swallowed dryly.

“I want to try having sex.”

There was a pause, one that Heather was sure was much longer in her head than it was in reality.

“Oh!” Emmy giggled. “Why didn’t you say so? We can totally do that!” She smiled excitedly. “I was going to ask you when you wanted to try it.”

Immediately she grabbed the hem of her black tank top, and panic struck Heather immediately.

“Wait!” she blurted out. Emmy froze in place, still holding her shirt, staring back at her with wide eyes.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No… no, nothing’s wrong.”  _ I think. _ “There was just something else I needed to talk to you about.”

“Are you nervous?” Emmy let go of her shirt and shuffled forward, giving a consoling smile. “Because that’s okay! I know you’ve never tried lesbian sex before. I could just show you how they work before we actually try anything!”

“No, that’s not-” she paused, thinking for a moment. “Actually, in fairness, I think that would be useful. But no, that’s not what I need to talk to you about.”

“Oh.” She sat backwards, ready to listen. “What is it then?”

Heather took a deep breath, trying to find a good way to begin. Somehow, though, nothing she thought of sounded right. Her words seemed all mixed up, like she couldn’t figure out what  _ exactly _ she wanted to say.

_ And here I thought this would be the easy part, _ she thought with disdain.

“I… I  _ do _ want to try and have sex,” she began, finally. “I just don’t know how much I’ll enjoy it, if it all.”

A confused expression formed on Emmy’s face, and she grew alarmed.

“It’s nothing to do with you!” she clarified. “It’s to do with me. I… I figured some things out about myself over the past few days.”   


“What things?”

“Things like… um…” She scratched the back of her head. “Not feeling sexual attraction. To anyone.”

She then fell quiet, the weight of what she just said falling on her shoulders. It shouldn’t have felt so heavy, it shouldn’t be so  _ difficult _ to explain. But it was, and the brief, yet terribly long silence she was met with only made her heartbeat race more and more as each second passed.

“To anyone?” Emmy finally spoke. “You’re not attracted… to anyone?”

“Sexually, no,” she said. “I’m not trying to say that I’m not attracted to you, if that’s what you think I’m saying.”

“But you just said-”

“I’m attracted to you in other ways, Heather. I don’t know what those ways are, but sexual attraction or not, I think you’re beautiful.” More sappy than she intended, but it was hard not to use but the best adjectives when gazing right at Emmy’s large eyes and speckled, hazel irises, the wild blonde hair framing her face, her lips painted with that soft pink, one that complimented the reddening cheeks as her flattered smile grew.

“Well, that’s very sweet of you to say,” she said, “but I still don’t understand. What do you mean by not being sexually attracted to anyone?”   


“I mean I don’t find anyone hot,” she replied. “You know how you never used to understand other people’s attraction to guys?”

Emmy nodded.

“I’m like that, but with everyone.”

Emmy looked at her doubtfully. “But I’m not attracted to guys at all.”

“Well, no, me neither. For me, I think girls are… nice. They’re pretty - much prettier than so many other boys I’ve seen. But when it comes to thinking about them sexually… it’s just not there.”

Though Emmy nodded in understanding, she still looked a little lost.

“But… you still want to have sex?”

“I… I think so.” She suddenly grew hot, twirling her hair around her fingers. “Remember when you pinned me against the railings at your party?”

“Yeah.”

“That, uh… it kind of, um…” she stammered, fumbling with her words up until Emmy let out a snicker.

“You liked it?”

Tightly pursing her lips, she nodded.

“So, from what I can gather, you like the idea of sex, and you are willing to have sex, but the sexual attraction part isn’t there?”

“Basically,” she replied. “I’m sorry that it’s so complicated.”

“You don’t need to apologise!” she chipped. Heather looked away hesitatingly.

“I do, though. This has been so difficult to figure out. I went so far as to kiss  _ Veronica _ to try and get all the answers before we tried anything, and I  _ still _ didn’t! I just…” She sighed into her hands. “I don’t want to be such a big inconvenience, since one of the most important parts of sex is just completely absent with me.”

Her throat ached a little, but Heather wasn’t about to let herself cry over this. Taking a deep breath to control herself, she looked back up at Emmy, who for some reason, was smiling at her.

“You kissed Veronica?” she said, giggled threatening to tumble from her mouth. Heather froze.

“Uh… like I said… so I could figure things out-”

“Did you enjoy it?”

She glared at her as she began to laugh.

“Whether I liked it or not is irrelevant! It wasn’t serious!”

“I know, I know! I am just fooling around!” she giggled. “But really, Dewdrop, you didn’t need to do that.” Her tone softened, sounding especially sweet in using that petname, and she shuffled a little closer. Hands brushed over her own, until they were held in a firm, reassuring hold. “I appreciate that you wanted to make it easy on me or whatever, but relationships are never easy! If you feel like you’re being an inconvenience - which you’re not - then you should talk to me about it and figure out how to deal with it. You don’t have to try and fix it so I don’t have to deal with an aspect of you or whatever, especially if it’s not something to fix!” She giggled again. “Honestly, Heather, I’d expect you to know just how complicated and rocky relationships can be. You’re friends with Heather, aren’t you?”

She snorted in amusement. “You make a good point.”

“I know,” she said with a grin. “So with that out of the way, how do you wanna go about this?” The sound of determination empowered her voice. “How do you usually get aroused? I’m assuming you masturbate. Granted, I often masturbate without being turned on - sometimes I just get bored.”

She chuckled. “I’ve done that from time to time, but no, I’ve done it while aroused. Very infrequently,” she added.

“Wait, before you tell me how you get turned on, should I be taking notes?”

Heather laughed. “No, you don’t have to do that.” She then paused, her eyes dropping to the hands holding her own. Swallowing her nerves, she shifted her hands around to hold onto them and brought them closer, pulling Emmy nearer as she did so. Resting them on her hips - a safe, yet intimate place, in her opinion - she gave her an enamoured smile. “I’d rather you find out yourself.”

A new, amorous glint flickered in Emmy’s eyes, and a soft, yet mildly lecherous smile appeared on her face.

“I think I’d like that,” she murmured, leaning closer. For a moment, their lips hovered around one another, up until Emmy closed the gap. Her lips brushed over Heather’s, in a way that started out gentle, giving her the space to explore for herself. But in all honesty, Heather wasn’t sure where to start - she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to take the reigns.

“You can go faster, y’know,” she murmured against her lips. Emmy nodded.

“Before I do,” she said, “is there anything you already know you like?”

Heather paused for a moment. She opened her mouth to say no, because of course she doesn’t know. How would she know? She has no experience with this. None at all.

Except… that wasn’t true.

“Uh… um…” she stammered. “Pull on my hair. Not too hard or anything, just a tug.”

Emmy gained a curious glint in her gaze, but she didn’t question her any further, thank goodness. Fluttering her eyes shut, Heather waited for the brief jolt of pain that had oddly felt  _ nice _ when Veronica had done it-

“ _ Ah! _ ” she gasped, feeling a sharp pull at the back of her head, the sting leaving as quick as it came.

“Was that too hard?” Emmy asked. Heather shook her head.

“No, no, it was perfect.” The smile she gave was returned.

“I’ll keep that in mind, then,” she said, before returning to the kiss. Heather closed her eyes again, letting herself get lost in the sensation. She so desperately wanted this to work - for her to get  _ into _ this. Though she wasn’t feeling anything intense quite yet, she was definitely enjoying herself, and she definitely wanted to continue. She was especially certain of that fact when Emmy, gripping her by the hips, swiveled her around and pressed her body against the soft mattress and her head against a plush pillow.

The hands on her hips moved to search for Heather’s own hands, so her fingers would link with hers before they were held against the bed, just next to her head. There was little force, enough for Heather to make an escape if she needed, but enough for her to let Emmy take control. Already entranced with the feeling of being touched in such a gentle, yet authoritative way, she was especially surprised when the tongue that slipped into her mouth felt  _ pleasant. _ Not slimy, disgusting, or simply neutral like it had been with Veronica - it felt intimate, in a  _ good _ way.

She then felt someone slowly moving her skirt up. It couldn’t be Emmy’s hands - they were still latched onto her own. No, there was a knee, gradually sliding up the gap between her legs that continued to spread the further up it travelled, dragging the hem of her skirt along with it. It didn’t stop until it reached her centre, with only a slight push being enough to make her let out a squeak.

Emmy broke off.

“Was that okay?”

Heather took a moment to break out of her daze. “Yeah, yeah it was fine.” She swallowed. “Just a surprise.”

Emmy sat up.

“I suppose it would be,” she murmured. “You’ve never been touched there, have you?”

Heather bit the inside of her cheek as she shook her head sheepishly.

“Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about!” Emmy tilted her head up to look at her. “I’m honestly kind of jealous. I would have loved to save myself for when I was  _ actually _ ready.” The joy in her tone faltered, and Heather’s heart wrenched in catching on what she meant.

“Heather…” She tightened her hold on her hand, but she just shook her head dismissively.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” she assured her. “I’m just saying, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know everyone likes to say it is, and everyone likes to rush to the first person willing to sleep with them so they can announce they’re not a virgin anymore, but not everyone is ready so early.” She sighed wistfully. “Some people are, which is fine, but suddenly that just becomes… a pedestal for everyone. So they jump in the deep end, even if they can’t swim just yet. Or at all.”

“Am I the person who can’t swim at all? Because you know very well that I hate water.”

“I-” Emmy blinked. “I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure in this metaphor you started in the shallow end and are slowly making your way towards-”

“I know, I’m joking,” she snickered.

“Oh.” She huffed, amused. “Look, what I’m saying is, you’re lucky, and while most people won’t admit it, they’d definitely be jealous. I certainly am.”

Heather frowned. “You know, if you wanna sit down and talk about this we can take a break.”

“No, it’s honestly fine.” She smiled in a somewhat bittersweet way. “I don’t let silly teenage choices define me in any way. Sure, I wish I could go back and not touch any boys, and just wait until Veronica came along. But since I can’t do that, I just try and leave it behind. I’ve found something much better now. I don’t have any reason to associate myself with the things I did to try and impress everyone else. Now I just try and impress myself with how fast I can make my girlfriends orgasm.”

Heather raised a brow. “I guess that’s one way to do it,” she said. “Also, you know for a fact I would have pulled the same shit if I wasn’t so determined to not strip in front of anyone. I don’t think I could handle the shock of a guy pulling my panties down and the first thing he sees is a clitoris.”

Emmy tilted her head curiously. “Isn’t that what they’d usually-” she paused. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So wait, down there, is it-”

“You’ll find out soon enough, Heather,” Heather cut her off, grabbing her collar. “We’re getting sidetracked. I’m trying to get aroused here.”

With that, she pulled her in for a kiss that she could let herself get lost in, and immediately they resumed, with Heather slipping back into it with more ease than she had expected. She let Emmy continue, the leg between her thighs occasionally shifting to tease her with a pleasurable jolt, while her hands would run up and down her body. It sent tantalizing sensations through her, especially when her fingertips brushed over bare skin.

Usually the thought of hands slipping under clothes was nerve wracking at best, but when she felt Emmy do exactly that, she let herself relax under the touch, ignoring any insecurity in favour of the entracing feeling of being touched, being  _ loved _ .

At least, that’s what she thought, up until those hands left her and landed on the fabric of her shirt. A draft hit her stomach, and she panicked.

“ _ Wait, _ ” she blurted out, grasping at her wrists. Emmy let go of her shirt and looked at her in fright.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She bit her lip as she looked down. “I just… um... you were gonna take my clothes off.”

“I… tend to do that during sex,” Emmy said. “Why? Don’t you want me to?”   


“It’s not that,” she grunted. “It’s just… I guess I didn’t really consider this part.” She let go of her wrists and sighed. “I didn’t think I would get this far, in all honesty.” She then scowled at herself. “Sorry. I’m being ridiculous. I should have expected this part during sex-”   


“Dewdrop, you’re not being ridiculous!” That name again. It somehow calmed her instantly. “I don’t have to take your clothes off. Trust me, I definitely want to, but if it’ll make you uncomfortable, then I’m more than willing to wait. Just know, however you may look, I’m sure it’s beautiful.” She gently held her hand, brushing her thumb over her knuckles soothingly. Heather simpered gingerly, flattered.

“Well, thanks, I guess,” she murmured.

“Do you still want to continue?”   


“Yeah.”

Emmy hummed. “Are you okay with me taking your skirt and leggings off?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just… not my shirt? Just for now.”

“That’s completely okay,” she said reassuringly. “In fact, I have an idea. How about we come up with a safeword?”

“Safeword? I don’t know what that is.”

“Oh, Veronica and I have one! And I imagine Heather and I will make one too.” She straightened herself up. “Basically it’s a word you use during sex to get your partner to stop if you need them to for whatever reason. You don’t even need a reason - if you just want a break then you can use it.”

Heather arched a brow. “Can’t I just say ‘stop’?”

“You can, but trust me, saying things like ‘stop’ and ‘no’ when you don’t actually mean them is common. A safeword is meant to stand out so you know for sure that your partner needs you to stop right away. And I think using one with us would be very useful, since we’re trying to figure out a lot of things and therefore taking a lot of risks, y’know?”

“I see. That makes sense, I guess.”

“What should the safeword be? Something memorable.”

Heather stared at her. “Wouldn’t it… just be ‘safeword’?”

Emmy opened her mouth to retort, only to pause with her jaw hanging.

“I… you make a good point. Why  _ isn’t _ it just ‘safeword’?”

“I mean, I can be more creative if you need me to be,” she said, amused. “Uhh… how about…” She looked around the room, gazing at the yellow wallpaper, the furniture, the pictures on the wall. Her eyes eventually landed on an old framed photo, one that showed a daffodil blooming with bright yellow petals, glowing under the sun. “Daffodil.”

“Daffodil! I like that.” She giggled sweetly, and Heather smiled.

“Now, should we get back to it already?” she then said. “And maybe try and not get side tracked so much.”

“It was some much needed side tracking,” Emmy replied. “But yes, we can indeed.”

* * *

If Heather had to describe her first - her  _ actual _ first - she would use the word ‘imperfect’.

That wasn’t a bad thing. She didn’t expect it to be. The idea that the first time having sex with any partner is meant to go perfectly is ridiculous, it’s  _ impossible _ , especially with a situation such as hers. More than anything, it was testing the waters, finding the basics on what to do, her guiding her girlfriend around on how exactly to pleasure her.

And it had been  _ fun _ . Not a ‘that was okay’ sort of way, but in a ‘I had fun, let’s do this again sometime and see what we can do better’ kind of way. She couldn’t stop smiling to herself.

_ I get it. I finally get it, _ is all her brain was able to say for the past ten minutes of rest.  _ I get why people like it! I understand it! _

She honestly never thought she’d see the day where she’d be able to say such a thing. And while she was fully aware that never understanding it wouldn’t have been a bad thing, the fact that she had  _ wanted _ to understand, that she wanted to picture herself in the position she was in right now, lying in bed, too exhausted to go grab her underwear, in great need of a shower, is what made this moment so triumphant to her.

Despite everything, despite taking longer than most to get aroused, despite finding certain aspects borderline repulsive, despite having so much difficulty adjusting to the feeling of someone else touching you in such an intimate way, she still came out satisfied, having enjoyed every moment. As she lay there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Emmy to return from the bathroom, she wondered what exactly it had been that she’d felt, how she could enjoy something she’d spent years gagging at.

_ It was fun, _ she thought with a smile.  _ That was it. It felt as if I were masturbating, but with someone who I love, so it was even more enjoyable? It was just a fun activity, with the downsides of bodily fluids being constantly secreted the whole time. _

She shifted slightly, and cringed in feeling the moisture stuck to her skin.

_ I should really go and clean myself up, _ she thought.  _ But I don’t actually want to move. _

Okay so, as joyful as she was that she had finally been able to enjoy sex, she couldn’t deny that she  _ really _ didn’t want to move her thighs. They were kind of… sticky. It was a pretty gross texture, for sure. She knew she could get used to it, but that doesn’t mean she was looking forward to the feeling of leftover discharge by any means.

Even if she wanted to, though, Heather was still in the bathroom, likely cleaning her face and hands off of… everything, so she was going to have to wait.

That is what she thought, until the door opened up, letting in a whiff of something sweet, making her stomach rumble. She looked over to Emmy, who had stepped in with a tray holding a plate piled with waffles. Heather blinked at her in confusion.

“Where did those come from?”

“I went downstairs and made them,” she said. “Why?”

“I thought you were in the bathroom.”

“Oh… oh, didn’t you go and clean up.” She grimaced. “Sorry, I thought you would have heard me walk down the stairs!”

Heather groaned. “It’s fine, I’ve been putting off moving anyway.”   


“It’s honestly not that bad! Besides, a lot of it would have dried by now.”

“Trust me, there’s still some there.” She internally counted to three, before sitting up. Yes, there was definitely still some there. “Eugh.”

“You okay?” Emmy asked.

“I will be fine, I’m just not used to…  _ this. _ ”

“I suppose it is pretty messy, especially when you’re not used to it,” Emmy giggled as she slipped under her duvet, tray sitting on her lap. “If you need to, you can use the shower.”

“I might hop in for five minutes,” she stated, picking up her clothes from the floor. “I won’t be long.”

With that, she hurried out of the room and down to the bathroom, where she quickly turned the shower on and threw her shirt and bra off. It was simply a quick rinse, up until the only moisture between her legs was hot water. After washing a couple more areas of herself, she hopped back out, wiped herself down with a towel, threw her clothes on and made her way back into the room.

“Hello!” Emmy chipped happily. “Any better?”

“Yeah, I feel a lot less gross,” she replied, slipping into the duvet on the other side of the bed, shuffling over to Emmy. Leaning back against the pillows behind her, she let out a relaxed sigh.

“You’ll get used to it, I’m sure,” Emmy said, biting into a waffle. “Assuming you want to do that again.”

Heather huffed contently. “Of course I do.”

“I thought I’d ask, even though I could kinda tell before,” she said with a wink. Heather’s face grew warm, and she lightly hit her on the arm.

“I didn’t expect it to feel  _ better _ than when I usually do it!” she grumbled. “Hell, I didn’t expect you to be able to do it well at all.”

“Glad I could exceed your expectations!” she said proudly. “Though, it was really not that hard. Once I got my bearings it was as easy as if you were Veronica or Heather. Just in case you were worried about being more difficult than either of them.”

The corner of her mouth turned up. “That’s good to know. Thanks.” She twiddled her thumbs. “In fact… thanks for everything.”

Emmy glanced at her with curiosity, mouth too full of waffle to respond.

“You’ve been really patient and considerate and caring tonight, and… it’s more than I could have asked for.” She sighed into her hand. “Why I thought I’d have to practice with Veronica beforehand is beyond me. You’ve been really great, Emmy.”

She was met with a smile, and once she swallowed her mouthful of food, she spoke.

“Honestly, it kind of baffles me as to why we feel scared to tell our partners things like this,” she said, a hint of sorrow in her tone. “I don’t just mean us in particular, I mean everyone. Why is it like…” she ripped off a piece of her waffle, “... _ taboo _ to be honest with your partner? I’ve never understood it. I still don’t understand it - being open is  _ so _ much easier! Everyone feels like they have to meet some sort of expectation to get their partner’s approval or whatever, like how you felt today! But that’s just silly. Relationships shouldn’t involve  _ ideals _ for each other. Sure, they’re meant to be work, but you’re meant to work together, not try and fix problems - that are only problems in someone else’s eyes - all by yourself. That’s just silly.”

Heather blinked at her, taking in everything she just said at a slow pace. All she could do is nod.

“Yeah… yeah you make good points,” she said slowly.

“We’re not gonna be like that,” Emmy continued. “Especially since I don’t have an ideal partner in mind, since I’ve only known I like girls for a couple of months.”

“I’m glad.”

“My ideal partner is just you!” she said with a grin, wrapping one arm around her and pulling her closer. Heather couldn’t help but smile, melting under the affection. She snuggled up against her, resting her head on her shoulder.

“And Heather and Veronica,” she added.

“Well, yes, of course.” She chuckled. “But my point is, please never feel like you’re not enough, or that you’re too difficult. You’re not either of those things. You’re simply you, the person who I’m dating.”

Heather had to take a moment to find some sort of response. Either way, she couldn’t hold back the smile on her face.

“Thank you,” she murmured in her ear. “It’s really no wonder why I love you, Emmy.”

Emmy paused, and for a moment, Heather wondered if she had said something wrong.

_ Oh. _ Her heart sank.  _ Oh, I just said that out loud. Oh no, we haven’t been dating for that long- _

“I love you too!” she exclaimed ecstatically, turning around to embrace her tightly. “Heather, I never thought I’d here those words come out your month.”

Heather laughed, rolling her eyes. “I am capable of love, believe it or not.” They both broke off the hug, though their arms were still coiled around one another, holding each other close. “I’m capable of a lot of things I didn’t think I ever could be, and wouldn’t have figured out without you.” She smiled gratefully.

“And Veronica,” Emmy added. Heather stared at her.

“Veronica had little to do with it,” she retorted.

“Yeah, but your thing for hair pulling absolutely came from her.”

Heather gaped at her. “How did you-”

“I know my girlfriend’s kinks.”

Blushing, Heather sank into her hands, while Emmy just laughed.

“Hey, it’s no big deal! I’m glad she could give you a head start.”

“ _ Don’t let me think about that, _ ” she grumbled, snatching a waffle for herself. It wasn’t until she took a bite did she notice the surprised look on Emmy’s face. “What?”

She didn’t reply, just stared at what looked like her mouth. As it was chewing. Ah.

“Look, sex is surprisingly exhausting,” she explained. “Also, they smelled good.”

Emmy simply smiled at her. “Have as many as you want.”

Heather was able to continue eating, finishing her waffle with little trouble, and even stealing the occasional extra bites from Emmy’s. The two of them giggled and talked, pressed up against each other, snuggled under the duvet and surrounded by soft, comfortable pillows. At some point Emmy picked up the remote for her colour changing lights, and the two of them gazed around the room as they changed the colours, yellow after red, green after yellow, and blue after green. Conversation eventually faded, and their plate emptied, but that was okay. Lying back on the bed with her head buried in her girlfriend’s neck and hands linked under the blankets was enough for Heather. It was more than enough.

If it was enough for them, then it was enough. Their relationship was theirs. It was for no one else to dictate. No rules to tell them how they needed to act. How they needed to  be intimate, how they needed to love.

It was just theirs.

All theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> leave 'heather you're doing amazing sweetie' comments below. she's thriving and we're happy for her.
> 
> https://heathersgameoftag.tumblr.com/
> 
> if anyone wants to uhhh support me and my work in anyway/get to view fics before their release on ao3 then go on my blog. cannot put it here. i will get eaten.


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